Depends a lot if you get the original SMTP RCPT TO: address put into the message as a header.  There is an X-Envelope-To: header that does not apply since this is adding at the time of writing the message to the directory.  If you and your wife's addresses are added you can use filtering to control the download.

My wife and I share the same mailbox use but different e-mail addresses. How can I set a pop3 filtering rule to download the same distribution list message in both of our computers? I am asking this question because we often receive a distribution list message where the From and To fields in the header are the same. Thanks in advance.